A lot can brew over a cup of coffee. Endless hours of procrastination, long hours of work, gossip, sleepovers, and business deals are all incomplete without coffee. I am not championing a cause I just love good Coffee and great Conversation.
When V and I announced our
pregnancy, response from family and friends was overwhelming and emotional, and
it still continues to be. The news itself garners a lot of momentum and that
too pretty quickly. While we are excited, the thought of being responsible
adults is nerve racking.
I was never the kind to pick up a
crying baby or even make a feeble attempt to pacify one; my first instinct was
always to run. Yes, call me heartless, but I never considered myself maternal.
I was always annoyed when babies cried on long haul flights, rolled my eyes at
over fussy parents and even cringed when invited to go to birthday parties thrown
for one year olds (surprisingly there have been many of those recently).
Luckily for me, V always felt the
same way, although in a much less obvious way. So naturally when we got
married, we always had an excuse for why we did not want to start a family.
Most of my conversation with my mum would end in an argument and she would say –“We
had you Dhivya, despite how you turned out!”
Conversations with the in-laws
were a lot less confrontational. Every time we face time or Skype, which is
usually once a week, they would tell us about some of their friends having
grandchildren and how they look forward to a similar time in their near future.
At this point, V and I usually squirm on our couch or simply pretend like we do
not comprehend. After a period of subtle hints (although Indians are never
subtle about these things), they resorted to more aggressive methods.
Mysterious children started appearing on our calls, they would either be
holding them or baby talking to them, it was also revealed to us that they were
indeed grandchildren of their friends. Rest of the call would then be spent in
trying to get the baby or toddler to smile or talk to this bored looking uncle
and aunty in Canada. In the end we would get a grunt or have an irritated child
in another corner of the globe.
Unfortunately for us, social
noise surrounding babies and toddlers was also inundating our lives. It became hard
to get away from the increasing number of Facebook posts of friends having
children, or the volume of invites we got to baby related events – shower,
naming, birthdays. It was similar to the deluge of wedding related events and activities
that was unavoidable a few years back, there was always some random auntie’s
daughter getting married (a constant news every time I spoke to my mum)or your
Facebook page engulfed by the wedding frenzy. There was always a friend who would
post an album, or several albums of over 300 pictures each, covering every
detail of their wedding. It had cheesy names like - ‘being swept off my feet’,
‘happily ever after’, ‘our first week married’ or ‘man and wife’. Sometimes if
your friends didn’t post them they would like them! Ugh, the world almost
ridiculed you for being single or still worse felt sorry for you.
This year, with both of us
turning 30, our parents turned the heat on us, losing all sense of tact and
diplomacy. They started groping around at issues that I would rather not
elaborate on this blog. In our effort to tackle the changing tactics of our parents,
V and I went with “we are trying”. Our naivety obviously warranted more
trouble. We got everything from sympathetic glances to intruding questions ‘Any
problem?’ from family and strangers. The sordid details of all the advice we
got calls for another post.
It is not like we have not been
thinking about it, but we wanted to take our time with it. I am glad we waited
for this long and that it happened when it feels appropriate for us. So you may
wonder, are we ready to deal with a wailing baby, sleepless nights and dirty
diapers? Frankly, no, but we are at least looking forward to the ride.
PS: I don’t intend to be a cheesy
mom (cringe), but if I do become one I would blame the damn hormones!
I am no shrinking violet, I have foot in the mouth disease, I barely ever edit my thoughts and I am better known to be a Panic Pot. Well, I am not saying I am proud of it but thats me, always hyper, enthusiastic and talkative. I love making these wonderful plans in my head about starting a new project, taking off on a holiday or supporting the underdog. In my list of things to do I have only ticked off a few simply because I cant' afford the rest. When I look back there, a lot of things, I could have done differently, but that's ok, I'll live with it. I cant cook or write, but I like to think I am good at both.