Wednesday, August 13, 2014

Pregnancy Announcement

When V and I announced our pregnancy, response from family and friends was overwhelming and emotional, and it still continues to be. The news itself garners a lot of momentum and that too pretty quickly. While we are excited, the thought of being responsible adults is nerve racking.

I was never the kind to pick up a crying baby or even make a feeble attempt to pacify one; my first instinct was always to run. Yes, call me heartless, but I never considered myself maternal. I was always annoyed when babies cried on long haul flights, rolled my eyes at over fussy parents and even cringed when invited to go to birthday parties thrown for one year olds (surprisingly there have been many of those recently).

Luckily for me, V always felt the same way, although in a much less obvious way. So naturally when we got married, we always had an excuse for why we did not want to start a family. Most of my conversation with my mum would end in an argument and she would say –“We had you Dhivya, despite how you turned out!”

Conversations with the in-laws were a lot less confrontational. Every time we face time or Skype, which is usually once a week, they would tell us about some of their friends having grandchildren and how they look forward to a similar time in their near future. At this point, V and I usually squirm on our couch or simply pretend like we do not comprehend. After a period of subtle hints (although Indians are never subtle about these things), they resorted to more aggressive methods. Mysterious children started appearing on our calls, they would either be holding them or baby talking to them, it was also revealed to us that they were indeed grandchildren of their friends. Rest of the call would then be spent in trying to get the baby or toddler to smile or talk to this bored looking uncle and aunty in Canada. In the end we would get a grunt or have an irritated child in another corner of the globe.

Unfortunately for us, social noise surrounding babies and toddlers was also inundating our lives. It became hard to get away from the increasing number of Facebook posts of friends having children, or the volume of invites we got to baby related events – shower, naming, birthdays. It was similar to the deluge of wedding related events and activities that was unavoidable a few years back, there was always some random auntie’s daughter getting married (a constant news every time I spoke to my mum)or your Facebook page engulfed by the wedding frenzy. There was always a friend who would post an album, or several albums of over 300 pictures each, covering every detail of their wedding. It had cheesy names like - ‘being swept off my feet’, ‘happily ever after’, ‘our first week married’ or ‘man and wife’. Sometimes if your friends didn’t post them they would like them! Ugh, the world almost ridiculed you for being single or still worse felt sorry for you. 

This year, with both of us turning 30, our parents turned the heat on us, losing all sense of tact and diplomacy. They started groping around at issues that I would rather not elaborate on this blog. In our effort to tackle the changing tactics of our parents, V and I went with “we are trying”. Our naivety obviously warranted more trouble. We got everything from sympathetic glances to intruding questions ‘Any problem?’ from family and strangers. The sordid details of all the advice we got calls for another post.

It is not like we have not been thinking about it, but we wanted to take our time with it. I am glad we waited for this long and that it happened when it feels appropriate for us. So you may wonder, are we ready to deal with a wailing baby, sleepless nights and dirty diapers? Frankly, no, but we are at least looking forward to the ride.

PS: I don’t intend to be a cheesy mom (cringe), but if I do become one I would blame the damn hormones!