Tuesday, May 08, 2007

Life on Venus

“Bye sweetheart, don’t wait for me I’ll be out late with the girls.” Preeti plants a quick kiss on her husband’s cheek and she’s off.

“How are you drunkards getting back?” Aditya winks.

“Adi shut up, you should see yourself when you come back from those male bonding sessions, it’s a mess. Shital is bringing her driver, not to worry. Bye”

“Oh yeah and fill me in on all the gossip when you’re back.” Adi chuckles.

This dialogue is hardly uncommon anymore. Women are taking time out to be with each other. The old rules of socializing for girls now looks dated. The new rule is that there are no rules, you make them up on the way.

A woman is a woman’s worst enemy and the society (predominantly male) has reinforced this time and again. I have heard even my non chauvinistic male friends make such causal remarks. I nearly bit their heads off for saying that. It could have been true in the past, when women were not in a position to help themselves or be helped by other women. But that is changing. Because women now have both financial power and social independence.

I can see a world of difference between my mum and me. My mum was largely dependant on my dad, so where the other women from her generation. Now women have strong women to depend on. I can’t imagine killing my time discussing husbands children, in-laws and the troubles that follow or the latest development on Kyunki saas bhi…. My mum realizes this she doesn’t expect me to do everything she had to at my age, in a way she is trying to live her life through me. Her equation with her mum, 30 years back, was completely different. Today we bond as women first and then as mother and daughter, discussing my work problems, her menopausal troubles, and so on and so forth. She knows I am going to be around even after I get married and have a family of my own.

For my mum to be in close contact with other women was almost a norm, for me, it’s a healthy support system, an opportunity for me to unwind and relax. When a bunch of women get together they need a scapegoat to unite them – just for the moment and for the fun of it. It could be criticizing a movie, gushing about your colleague’s new hair do, a new job, boyfriend, bosses receding hairline, etc. What the world calls bitching women call bonding.

Just the other day I was at the trial room of Fab India, doubtfully trying on a new style top, picking out too many flaws despite many appreciative remarks from Vineet. Suddenly another woman walks past with the same design of kurta in her hand.

“I was so doubtful of the style but it looks wonderful on you, I am definitely going to buy it.” She said as she walked past. It was enough for me to make up my mind. Women instinctively bond with other women in temporary surroundings when they perceive similarity. Ladies compartments, restrooms, beauty parlors even gynecology wards make popular bonding grounds. It may not develop into lasting associations, but it substitutes for a therapy center. When women are emotionally charged it is imperative they talk – irrespective of where they are and who it is.

Women need to talk to get a problem out of their system, and I for one vouch for that. Through every new relationship, break up, change of jobs, career I want to talk to my closest friend. It makes things a whole lot clearer and is a great stress releaser. We believe all that goes wrong can be made right by talking about it. We hold the fort with words.

So now it’s ok to be bitchy, it’s ok to be neurotic, it’ ok to be giggly.

It’s okay to be a girl.

6 comments:

Lalbadshah said...

Stumbled on to your blog and found this post interesting.

A male's (another non chauvinistic) 2 cents:
"Women instinctively bond with other women in temporary surroundings when they perceive similarity." -- I've heard this from plenty of women speaking exclusively of themselves as if men never socialize with other men if their tastes match. What you got was a compliment. Bonding? I doubt.

On the other hand:
"Women need to talk to get a problem out of their system, and I for one vouch for that. Through every new relationship, break up, change of jobs, career I want to talk to my closest friend."

This is very true. This is something I have always been jealous about when it comes to females. You're always so comfortable with your friends knowing that they know the deepest of your secrets! Guys can never do that! Atleast I can't.

Anyways, good blog! Keep it going.

Varasidhi Jagadeesan said...

Ever considered a career in journalism? Otherwise no comment... anything I say would be argumentative if negative. But I also feel that the blog is very defensive in nature. More like an apology for why they do what they do so please forgive them sort of stuff... you guys dont need this.

san the man said...

you're right about the bonding bit...it really is cool. men would never pay each other a compliment in a changing room.

from the a feminist point of view (and i'm an unabashed feminist) i think women rock. they make better friends, they have better taste and now that they're slowly shedding their inhibitions caused by centuries of unwarranted male oppression, women are gooing to rule the world.

oh yes...and women are stronger than men!

Anonymous said...

thank god u r not my gf..

shalmali said...

Nice post. I like your style of writing. by the way where do u find all these apt, pretty pictures to put on your blog? :)

shalmali said...

Nice post. I like your style of writing. By the way where do u find all these pretty pictures to put on ur blog? They are very apt :)