“How are you drunkards getting back?” Aditya winks.
“Adi shut up, you should see yourself when you come back from those male bonding sessions, it’s a mess. Shital is bringing her driver, not to worry. Bye”
“Oh yeah and fill me in on all the gossip when you’re back.” Adi chuckles.
This dialogue is hardly uncommon anymore. Women are taking time out to be with each other. The old rules of socializing for girls now looks dated. The new rule is that there are no rules, you make them up on the way.
A woman is a woman’s worst enemy and the society (predominantly male) has reinforced this time and again. I have heard even my non chauvinistic male friends make such causal remarks. I nearly bit their heads off for saying that. It could have been true in the past, when women were not in a position to help themselves or be helped by other women. But that is changing. Because women now have both financial power and social independence.
I can see a world of difference between my mum and me. My mum was largely dependant on my dad, so where the other women from her generation. Now women have strong women to depend on. I can’t imagine killing my time discussing husbands children, in-laws and the troubles that follow or the latest development on Kyunki saas bhi…. My mum realizes this she doesn’t expect me to do everything she had to at my age, in a way she is trying to live her life through me. Her equation with her mum, 30 years back, was completely different. Today we bond as women first and then as mother and daughter, discussing my work problems, her menopausal troubles, and so on and so forth. She knows I am going to be around even after I get married and have a family of my own.
For my mum to be in close contact with other women was almost a norm, for me, it’s a healthy support system, an opportunity for me to unwind and relax. When a bunch of women get together they need a scapegoat to unite them – just for the moment and for the fun of it. It could be criticizing a movie, gushing about your colleague’s new hair do, a new job, boyfriend, bosses receding hairline, etc. What the world calls bitching women call bonding.
Just the other day I was at the trial room of Fab India, doubtfully trying on a new style top, picking out too many flaws despite many appreciative remarks from Vineet. Suddenly another woman walks past with the same design of kurta in her hand.
“I was so doubtful of the style but it looks wonderful on you, I am definitely going to buy it.” She said as she walked past. It was enough for me to make up my mind. Women instinctively bond with other women in temporary surroundings when they perceive similarity. Ladies compartments, restrooms, beauty parlors even gynecology wards make popular bonding grounds. It may not develop into lasting associations, but it substitutes for a therapy center. When women are emotionally charged it is imperative they talk – irrespective of where they are and who it is.
Women need to talk to get a problem out of their system, and I for one vouch for that. Through every new relationship, break up, change of jobs, career I want to talk to my closest friend. It makes things a whole lot clearer and is a great stress releaser. We believe all that goes wrong can be made right by talking about it. We hold the fort with words.
So now it’s ok to be bitchy, it’s ok to be neurotic, it’ ok to be giggly.
It’s okay to be a girl.